Match Reports

The game which turned out to be a Valentines Day massacre

Result: The Griffin 4-10 (ten) Norton Nomads

Venue: Horningsham Village Hall

Referee: Graham Wilkin

Nomads man of the match: Nath Witcombe

The Griffin man of the match: I’ll plump for Jason Thwaites, did well in the middle

Conditions: Usual February chill

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	4. Adam Colbourne		5. Jas Cripps	3. Adam Simmonds
11. Kev Lake	6. Andy Coombs		8. Joe Skipper	7. Andy Howe
	9. Craig Maidment		10. Nath Witcombe

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant (replaced Simmonds after 82 mins)

14. James Lorimer

15. Jamie Gulliford (replaced Howe after 64 mins)

16. Alex Coombs (replaced Lake after 64 mins)

The Griffin line-up: Wilson, Cardnell, Marsh, Crook, M. Mytton, O'Connor, Davis, Thwaites, Jacques, S. Mytton, G. Jones. Subs: E. Jones, Barker, Brudenell

(Note - when I say massacre I mean by the scoreline. I don't want representatives of the late Al Capone suing me for copyright or killing me with syphilis).

14 goals on the 14th. This wasn't any ordinary 14th though - this was St. Valentines Day. The players abandoned their partners for a morning of football at the quiet village of Horingsham, situated within close proximity of the picture-esque Longleat Country Park. This game would have got the lions roaring and cheetahs dashing around in excitement. On average there was a goal every 6 minutes 43 seconds. Beat that.

Nomads rocked into this peaceful place bright and early on a chilly morning. The pitch by the village hall is more suited to under 11s; in fact it's just 48 yards wide and can't be more than 80 yards long. After rocking into the village, Nomads players joined together to sing a rock tune in the cramped changing rooms - Don't stop believing by Journey, with the occasional pause to remember the lyrics. As for the line-up, Adam Colbourne came straight back in for work-bound Dave Chedgy and Mark Stillman was called up as a last minute replacement for James Lorimer, who injured his knee in the warm-up. Craig Maidment earned a recall in the place of Jamie Gulliford as Nomads were keen to forget their wilted Cup exit a week before at Ston Easton. Griffin appeared to have a strong line-up and included half-fit Josh Brudenell on the bench, a player who usually causes Paul Tarrant's side a problem or three.

After looking reasonably comfortable in the opening stages, Nomads were dealt a body-blow by falling behind on five minutes. Jas Cripps brought down Chris Davis some 30 yards from goal near the touchline. Jason Thwaites delivered a dangerous looking free-kick which was misjudged by Kev Page and nestled into the far corner of the net. An error from the Nomads keeper which probably left him wanting to take a midnight train goin' anywhere.

Andy Coombs blazed a shot wide and his fellow Andy, Mr Howe, rolled an effort wide after home keeper Paul Wilson let the ball slip from his grasp when attempting a long throw out. However it was another set-piece which proved Nomads' undoing and produced the second goal of the morning. From a near identical position to his first delivery, Thwaites floated the ball into the danger zone. Tim O'Connor managed to steal in unmarked and had time to control before easily executing, tapping the ball into the bottom corner.

It goes on and on and on and on. Colbourne lost the ball from the kick-off, Rob Jacques and Steve Mytton exchanged passes before the latter was adjudged to have been brought down by Jas Cripps. Cripps certainly won the ball, but referee Graham Wilkin wasn't interested, explaining that the Nomads captain had tugged the shirt of his opponent before tackling him. Thwaites stepped up, Page dived right and the ball started rising to his left. It looked like the perfect penalty...had the crossbar been around an inch higher. The ball came back off the upright, landed to Mytton who tried placing the ball in the corner, but Page managed to scramble across his line and palm the ball away before gathering at the second attempt. It looked like it'd crossed the line but all protests were waved away. From Page's resulting clearance Howe helped the ball on into the path of Kev Lake. He turned inside of Simon Cardnell and a fellow defender lost his footing, which gave Lake the room to shoot past Wilson from 10 yards and give Nomads a lifeline. Talk about a turning point.

Lake then tried his luck with an audacious volley from around 40 yards which sailed just over the bar; Maidment also skied over from around 37 yards closer to goal as Nomads' attacking threat became more deadly by the minute. They were rewarded with an equaliser on 27 minutes - Joe Skipper and Lake worked a one-two just inside the penalty area and Lake managed to cut in and drill a lovely effort into the far corner of the net, Wilson given no chance.

With Lake stealing most of the plaudits for a hugely impressive opening to the game, striker Nath Witcombe tried to nick his thunder by coming to life after an unusually subdued opening. Firstly he headed Skipper's hanging cross over from close range, and then saw a shot bravely smothered by Wilson after linking up well with Maidment in attack. He then played a part in Nomads' third goal of the morning. Showing good strength to hold off Matt Mytton, Witcombe left space for Coombs who played it through to Lake. Wilson started to advance from his line was but wasn't quick enough as Lake stretched a leg ahead of him, diverting the ball home to complete his hat-trick and a remarkable turn-around.

The second half was a goal-fest with almost every attack seemingly ending with the ball nestling in the onion bag. "Everybody wants a thrill" as Journey say and the half a dozen or so watchers on were in for a treat.

A lengthy five minutes of the half passed before Nomads gave themselves a two-goal cushion. Coombs received the ball from a Lake throw-in, turned inside of Adam Marsh and laid it off for Colbourne, who'd stayed forward for the attack. Showing the predatory instinct of a striker, the centre-half turned a defender and rifled the ball into the roof of the net from close range, his second goal of the season.

Nomads' fifth goal started from the back. Cripps intercepted a Davis pass and set Howe free on the left. The ball eventually arrived at the feet of Witcombe, who had team-mates queuing up like strangers waiting up and down the boulevard as he tried to work his way past a wall of defenders. Maidment helped him out, eventually setting up his strike partner who shot through a crowd of bodies past an unsighted Wilson who could do little about it. Witcombe also fired over shortly after Skipper exploited another gap in the Griffin defence, keeper Wilson doing well to close him down and making him rush a shot over the bar.

Page had been a virtual spectator for the second half but awoke from his slumber to make an important save. Stillman's horribly mis-hit back-pass saw Jacques run through and although the full-back delayed the striker briefly, he managed to get a shot away which was diverted behind by the Nomads keeper. The miss proved vital as Nomads gave themselves an even bigger exhale of breathing space with a sixth goal on 64 minutes. Witcombe danced his way past a few opponents, slipped it on to Skipper who took his time before calmly placing the ball in the bottom corner. His Dad had turned up to watch the game; no doubt he would have been impressed with his son's cool finishing and overall performance. With the game seemingly safe, Tarrant withdrew wingers Howe and Lake, bringing on Gulliford and Alex Coombs, younger brother of Andy, for his Nomads debut. Griffin responded by moving Wilson outfield with Gareth Jones taking his place in goal, Brudenell also entering the fray.

The changes made an immediate impact. Brudenell picked up the ball 30 yards from goal, advanced forward and produced a dipping effort which crashed off the face of the bar with Page beaten. The ball looped in the air and Steve Mytton had no problems in beating Stillman in the air to head the ball again against the bar (Soccer AM should forward them a few t-shirts), but this time the underside and over the line, referee Wilkin correctly awarding a goal. The same player was then the chief instigator in Griffin's fourth of the morning, setting up Jacques who jinked inside of Colbourne before unleashing a terrific shot which flew into the roof of the net, Page only able to watch on and admire. Thwaites also saw his ambitious effort from a free-kick sail harmlessly wide as Nomads began to show a few nerves.

These nerves were finally put to rest on 77 minutes. Maidment was brought down some 20 yards from goal, otherwise known as perfect Witcombe free-kick range. The number 10 sized it up as Jones positioned his wall. It looked impossible to dip the ball over the wall and in, so instead Witcombe opted for curling the ball around the outside. He did to perfection, the ball curving like a boomerang and nestling perfectly into the corner, a wonderful strike which left the hosts players thinking “strewth, how did that flamin’ gallah do that?”

Whilst the players were trying to keep track of the score, Nomads confused things even more by adding another five minutes later. Witcombe was chopped down in the box by Matthew Mytton and Wilkin awarded his second penalty of the game. Page keenly sprinted forward to take the kick, which proved to be a wise choice as he nonchalantly hit the ball into the side of the net, sending Jones the wrong way, and thus scoring his second goal in three games. Not bad for a keeper I guess.

The energy levels of Griffin's players began to melt like a collection of chocolates for a loved one left out in the sun. From yet another kick-off (the centre-spot powder must have evaporated by now), Stillman won possession and played it to Alex Coombs. The 18 year-old clearly shares the same genes as his brother when it comes to creativity, his expert through ball found Skipper, the only player younger than him in the Nomads side, in oceans of space. The Londoner again made no mistake, rolling a shot under Jones for his second and Nomads' ninth. With the win clearly assured, manager Tarrant allowed himself a brief run-out, taking the place of Adam Simmonds.

Nomads have never hit double figures in a game before but that stat was put to bed on 87 minutes. Witcombe, whose performance stats would have earned him about 1000 points in Fantasy Football, created his third goal of the morning. Gulliford latched onto his weighted pass and rounded the advancing Jones. From a tricky angle, he didn't hesitate and fired the ball into the empty goal to make it 10-4. Yes, 10-4. Ridiculous.

A superb Cripps challenge prevented Jacques from adding yet another goal and Page held onto a Wilson drive without too much difficulty before referee Wilkin finally called a halt to this non-stop action. The players had well and truly earned their delicious pies in The Griffin public house in the afternoon. Nomads are now the top scorers in the Division, hitting 30 goals in 7 games (although 19 of these were scored over two) and are now fifth, closing the gap on teams above them due to Wansdyke's recent expulsion. Witcombe just edged the man-of-the-match award with a commanding performance, his two goals taking him to four in four games, more than his total for the whole of last season. Will Nomads carry on pushing up the league? Who knows - "Don't stop believing"…

The game which saw Nomads’ hopes of retaining the Division Two Cup go up in smoke

Result: Ston Easton 5-3 Norton Nomads

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: John O’Brien

Nomads man of the match: Jas Cripps

Ston Easton man of the match: Antony Ford

Conditions: Bit nippy out

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. James Lorimer	4. Jas Cripps		5. Dave Chedgy	3. Adam Simmonds
11. Kev Lake	6. Andy Coombs		8. Joe Skipper	7. Andy Howe
	9. Nath Witcombe		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

14. Mark Stillman (replaced Chedgy after 62 mins)

15. Craig Maidment (replaced Stillman after 78 mins)

Ston Easton line-up: Curtis, Nurse, Roe, Randall, T. Bennett, Harrison, Harvey, Gibbs, D. Bennett, Ford, Lines. Subs: Presley, Hanson, Slocombe, Abbott, Gilvray.

In life, preparation is hugely important. Things like weddings, parties, firework displays and nights outs in a brewery need a certain amount of organisation for everything to run smoothly. Preparing for a football match can also fall into that category, though this becomes hard work in Sunday League. Unfortunately, if Nomads' preparation for this game is anything to go by, they'd probably forget the wedding rings or plan a firework display on a sunny afternoon in June. The defence of the AM Print & Copy Division Two Cup is over and, unless Nomads up their game significantly, so is their season.

It all started at 7am on Sunday morning. Andy Coombs, midfield general, had chosen the Saturday night to celebrate his 21st birthday. It had everything - shots, beers, chatting up a girl who was stood next to her hard-looking boyfriend, over-priced strippers, you name it. For him it also involved a casino, one which he remained in until little over three hours before kick-off. By the time he'd returned home, the sleep-deprived Nomad was being picked up again to start in the middle. Nath Witcombe went to a wedding, and forgot to bring his kit to where he was staying. This meant a desperate search for shin-pads in Craig Maidment's garage, eventually an aging looking pair which belonged to his Dad came to the rescue. They were even signed by Kenny Dalglish for good measure. Witcombe also squeezed into some smaller boots and carried a rather heavy hangover. So did captain Jas Cripps, his face paler than Casper the Friendly Ghost, although he managed to appear, unlike Adam Colbourne who pulled out the night before knowing that he'd be feeling worse for wear. Ston Easton seemed to have less problems, fielding a 16-man strong squad including a somewhat intimidating figure of Adrian Curtis in goal for the first time. Referee John O'Brien asked for the captains. Ston Easton's bounced over looking enthusiastic, probably after eating one of his "five a day" for breakfast and continued doing stretches. Cripps was being sick behind the goal. This didn't bode well.

The opening 20 minutes didn't bode well either as Ston produced wave after wave of attacking intent whilst Nomads were about as threatening as a knitted character on Harry Hill's TV Burp. Despite carrying an aroma of fresh sick and pints of lager, Cripps was up to the task in his defensive role, making many a vital interception to keep the scoreline goalless. Ston's best chance fell to Liam Gibbs following one of several very dangerous corners from the home side. Antony Ford's delivery was missed by Page and found Gibbs at the far post, but he failed to bring the ball under control with the goal nearly at his mercy which gave Joe Skipper the chance to clear.

Nomads thought they'd taken the lead against the run of play on 25 minutes. Kev Lake snaked his way past Mike Roe played it to Witcombe with his back to goal. The striker turned Tony Bennett and placed the ball into the corner before running off to celebrate, but this was halted by a late offside flag where it'd been adjudged that Jamie Gulliford was interfering with play when the cross came in. One for Lee Dixon and Alan Hansen probably, certainly looked like a perfectly good goal to me. Instead Nomads had to wait another seven minutes before they scored the opening goal of the game. After a spell of scrappy defending, Lake's persistence saw the ball break towards Andy Howe. The hosts manager, Dave Nurse, stretched out a leg to divert the danger, but it wasn't enough and left Howe with just the mighty Curtis to beat. He did this with ease, keeping his calm like a counsellor telling a depressant that he doesn't need to take his own life, and rolled the ball in at the near post, his seventh goal of the season.

Ston equalised within five minutes. Ford and Gary Harvey were the instigators, the former eventually playing the ball excellently through to Josh Lines who ran in between Cripps and Dave Chedgy to poke the ball past Page. Harvey, the former Bearberry front-man, proved that he's just as useful on the wing and ended up switching sides towards the end of the half, lining up against his former team-mate James Lorimer.

This switch was to prove vital, but not before Nomads put together a few chances before the half was out. Cripps' free-kicks proved troublesome, firstly the unmarked Gulliford flicked a header wide but secondly a goal was denied in a jaw-dropping chain of events. Another Cripps delivery caused a problem, this time Nathan Randall's header out only fell to Lake. His first-time shot on the turn looked certain to be a goal, only for Curtis to palm it onto the bar. With the keeper lying prostrate on the ground, it gave Witcombe the simplest of tasks to head the ball into the net, which he seemed to have done with ease. However, Curtis somehow raised an arm and kept out the header before Mike Roe blasted it to safety. A world class double save, certainly looked out of place in Sunday League.

The lucky escape spurred the home side on and they took the lead on 41 minutes. Lines received the ball in his new right wing position, cut inside of Chedgy and floated in a perfect cross for Dean Bennett to ghost in completely unmarked and head in from six yards.

Nomads players grumbled at half-time at the late offside flags putting an end to their attacking moves, but they could have little complaints with the scoreline. They were almost left to seethe further when they were inches away from falling further behind minutes after the restart, Chedgy's clearance from a cross missing his own crossbar by about half a yard.

Whilst the home side were perfectly adept at taking corners, defending them proved to be a different matter. After Lake's shot was deflected over, Witcombe took responsibility for Nomads' latest set-piece. His delivery was inch-perfect for Gulliford, who bravely headed home from close range to score his first goal since October. His first headed goal for a while too.

You could have made a DVD from this game entitled "World's worst defending from set-pieces" as Ston Easton's third goal, less than five minutes after Nomads equalised, was again due to problems caused from a corner. Ford's delivery was dropped by Page and only cleared as far as Dean Bennett who drove the ball through a crowd of bodies from 12 yards.

The instrumental Ford effectively made the game safe on 57 minutes. The lively striker latched onto a through ball, sprinted past Chedgy and easily side-footed past Page. The mad goal spell continued with a fifth goal for Nurse's side five minutes later. Lines got the better of Adam Simmonds and played it inside to Gibbs, who placed his shot well into the corner, pinging against the post for good measure, and was rewarded with this by being substituted straight after. Nomads also made a change, replacing Chedgy with Mark Stillman and changing the defence around.

Witcombe was left a frustrated figure as once again he saw an effort ruled out for offside. Skipper released Howe on the left and the winger's low cross was touched into the empty net by the Nomads number nine, but the flag went up fairly early this time as the score remained at 5-2. Lake also tamely shot wide as Nomads started to go frustrated at their own performance where nothing seemed to be going right, their hopes of appearing in a second successive Cup Final fading away by the minute.

Nomads did however make more of a game of it by pulling a goal back on 74 minutes. Cripps started the move by intercepting a corner and playing it forward to Coombs. He in turn laid it off to Lake, who worked his way to the penalty area before seeing a queue of people alongside him waiting for the perfect pass. Cripps had carried on with his run and was the grateful recipient, taking a touch before placing it low out of Curtis' reach in the far corner, his third goal in three games after netting just once in the whole of last season. His overall game, a rare highlight of the morning, ended up earning him the man-of-the-match award.

As Nomads searched for another goal it led to a few debates between Manager and Assistant, not helped by each being on opposite sides of the pitch. In the end Assistant Stillman take it upon himself to be substituted just 15 minutes after coming on (Robinho anyone?), with Maidment taking his place and Nomads switching to 3-4-3. With Ston Easton's tiring looking defence being well protected by their midfield, the change didn't have enough time to materialise as the game petered out into a depressing defeat.

There can be few complaints over the outcome of this match. Ston Easton's experienced heads were the better side and, although some Nomads players will have a right to be slightly bitter about some interesting offside calls, they can't deny that they deserved nothing out of the game. It's just the league left to play for and Nomads will hopefully play their first Division Two match since November 8th next week when they take on The Griffin at Horningsham. Unlike this morning, Nomads had better be prepared.

The game with a goalscoring goalkeeper

Result: Norton Nomads 3-6 Team Frome (after extra time)

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Arthur Jones

Nomads man of the match: James Lorimer

Team Frome man of the match: Stewart Bryant

Conditions: Bright and chilly

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. James Lorimer	4. Adam Colbourne		5. Dave Chedgy	3. Adam Simmonds
11. Kev Lake	6. Andy Coombs	8. Jas Cripps	9. Joe Skipper	7. Andy Howe
		10. Nath Witcombe

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

14. Mark Stillman (replaced Skipper after 105 mins)

15. Craig Maidment (replaced Howe after 71 mins)

Team Frome line-up: P. Parsons, Vowells, Lewer, M. Parsons, Antell, Bryant, Pawley, Stanley, Metcalf, Harrington, Aven. Subs: Hurle, Osbourne, Woollett.

There appears to be a hidden law of the beautiful game which states "Every Cup match involving Frome & District Division Two side Norton Nomads must go to extra-time at all costs". It's probably in there sandwiched between what to do if a dog runs on the pitch and how much stoppage time you should add on if Manchester United are losing at home. After playing one game in the previous two months (which, naturally, also included an extra half-hour), Nomads again made up for lost time with a tremendously determined performance against Team Frome. In the end they went down, but they didn't half go down fighting. This tie was postponed no fewer than four times, but when it was finally played it proved to be worth the wait.

Team Frome play in the Premier Division of the Frome & District League. They're quite good actually - beaten only twice this season in all competitions and progressed to this stage of the Kevin Lucas Memorial Cup by narrowly beating fellow Premier Leaguers Guss & Crook 10-0. A few of their players are classed as seniors in footballing terms - there appeared to be more stars on their teamsheet than on the USA flag. Nomads themselves made just one enforced change from the win over Griffin last month. Jamie Gulliford withdrew due to a dead leg and was replaced by 16 year-old Joe Skipper, thrown in at the deep end to make his first start for the club. Nath Witcombe was employed as the lone striker, borrowing Gulliford's shirt for the morning.

Given the number of league placings separating the clubs, Frome unsurprisingly made the stronger start. Their first real opening arrived on 12 minutes when a breakdown of communication similar to Robinho and the press saw Grant Aven nip in between the hesitating Kev Page and Adam Colbourne. Aven looked certain to score, but was too casual, Page not really forced into a difficult save with his feet. It was the neat, quick interchanging of passing from the visitors which made life extremely difficult for Nomads. Stewart Bryant, producing a master class performance in the opening 45, sent James Stanley clear with an inch-perfect through ball which caught out the Nomads back four. Stanley drilled the ball across goal where it somehow evaded everyone, Aven did the exact same from the opposite side as Nomads finally managed to clear.

Witcombe was making the most of his opportunity in a more forward role, finding himself in two one-on-one situations in the first half. Firstly he scuffed a shot wide after good work by Skipper, and soon after he was played through by Andy Coombs with just goalkeeper Paul Parsons to beat. Witcombe's shot lacked power but not direction, unfortunately for him defender Jake Antell rushed back to clear the danger.

The opening goal of the game arrived midway through the half. Aven avoided the attentions of Dave Chedgy before setting up Bryant. The former Witham lynchpin took a few touches before belting it into the centre of goal past Page to make it 1-0. This was probably the away side's best spell of play, it took some dogged defending and the occasional element of luck to keep the score to just a single goal. Another Bryant through ball split the Nomads defence open, but Skipper got back just in time to divert the danger away for a corner. Page also batted a stinging Aven drive around the post but was powerless to prevent a second goal five minutes before half-time. This time it was Jack Metcalf who was creator, delivering a perfect cross to the far post for Josh Harrington, the striker didn't disappoint by planting his header into the corner.

Skipper looked to have slightly tarnished a decent half when he was harshly adjudged to have brought down Stanley, but he breathed a sigh of relief as referee Arthur Jones deemed that the offence took place outside the penalty area and thus gave a free-kick. Metcalf's driven effort was eventually cleared, but he was stood celebrating minutes later when he tapped in from close range, only for linesman Paul Tarrant to rule it out for offside.

Half-time saw James Lorimer provide a few words of wisdom (bet that's not a sentence which is uttered regularly) as the right-back, who'd probably been Nomads' best player of the half, assigned Skipper to man-mark Bryant in the second half. It certainly had the desired effect as the youngster stuck to his opponent like chewing gum to a trainer. Without his creativity Frome's chances suddenly became more few and far between.

Nomads pulled a goal back just after the hour mark. Lake's typical Michael Flatley-type footwork saw him edge past Dean Lewer and roll in the perfect centre for Witcombe, who said "thank you very much" (he's very polite, you know) and tapped in from close range.

For a team that'd recently thrown away a 2-0 lead against The Griffin, making up the same deficit against Premier Division opponents seemed unlikely, but then anything can happen in the Kevin Lucas Memorial Cup. Manager Tarrant switched a few things around, replacing the unusually subdued Andy Howe with Craig Maidment and changing to 4-4-2, Coombs propping up on the wing. Within 30 seconds Nomads were level. Lake slipped the ball to the unmarked Cripps who, despite having three people waiting in the middle, opted to shoot from a fairly difficult angle. His low drive appeared to hit a divot which completely deceived Parsons, the ball bouncing over him and into the net.

This sparked Team Frome into action as they attacked in numbers, throwing a number of crosses into the box to try and test the Nomads defence. Centre-back Colbourne might as well have had "Thou Shalt Not Pass" printed on the front of his shirt rather than an online glasses company as he met almost every one in commanding fashion. This spell of possession included the only booking of the game, Aven's tackle on Skipper was more just mistimed than malicious, but referee Jones probably made the right call. It also meant that the Nomads man carried a limp for the rest of the game. Aven was substituted soon after with Karl Osbourne, a player with a tremendous scoring record against Nomads, taking his place.

Osbourne shot into the side netting and Metcalf's low drive from the edge of the box skimmed just wide as Frome searched for a winner. In doing so they left gaps at the back, and Nomads so nearly exploited this on two occasions. Cripps' ball across goal was just too strong for Witcombe, but following good work by Maidment, his fellow striker was teed up again. Witcombe tried to place the ball in the far corner but saw his effort flash just off target. Lake was similarly close. Cripps' through ball found the winger with just stranded keeper Parsons to beat, but he lofted his shot just over the bar. With no further goals it was a familiar story for Nomads – extra-time.

Energy levels from players had severely lapsed, though Frome appeared to have that extra ounce of strength to carry them on. Page had to make a couple of saves with his legs as Nomads started to get players behind the ball, desperate to prevent falling behind again. In the end, Team Frome found a gap and took full advantage. Bryant cleverly played Stanley through and after escaping the attentions of Coombs, the winger rolled the ball past Page in clinical fashion.

Skipper couldn't continue and hobbled off before the start of the second period of extra-time, meaning that Mark Stillman had to fill in as an unorthodox central midfielder for the final 15. Page had to be alert to tip over a stinging Metcalf drive but from the resulting corner Frome effectively made the game safe. Nomads failed to clear the danger and Osbourne rose highest to nod the ball in from close range, the ball trickling past Colbourne and Stillman on the line. He must enjoy playing against Nomads like Heather Trott from EastEnders enjoys polishing off a bacon buttie - by my reckoning he's scored every time he's played against us.

Most of the game had seen each team fail miserably in the art of taking corners, but the closing stages saw players get their act together and start to put in some decent deliveries. A real scramble took place following Witcombe's flag kick ending in Adam Simmonds' firmly hit volley being well blocked by Antell. Witcombe's next corner produced a goal, from a slightly unlikely source.

Page decided to come forward from the back to cause some confusion in the visitors' defence, his green jersey also making it slightly trickier for the Team Frome players as it slightly clashed with their own attire. Witcombe crossed, Page ghosted in unmarked and his first-time header from close range gave the startled Parsons no chance. Nomads' number one had made history by being the first player to score for the club whilst donning the goalkeeper shirt.

After the euphoria of scoring, Page returned to one of his proper duties, in this case picking the ball out of the net. Firstly Stanley caught an exhausted Nomads backline out by sneaking in behind, cutting inside and easily poking the ball past Page, before the scoring was complete in the final minute. Sub Alex Woollett's driven shot was missed by fellow replacement Pete Hurle, but Metcalf was on hand to touch the ball in at the far post. All Nomads offered in response was a tame Stillman shot which dragged wide of Parsons' goal.

A somewhat entertaining morning you might say. Team Frome deserved their win but were complimentary towards their opponents, a tricky game was clearly not what they were expecting. They'll go on to face Timsbury Cricketers in the semi-final whilst Nomads will hope to reach the same stage of the Division Two Cup, their opponents next week Ston Easton in that very competition. Extra-time, anyone?

The game where Nomads started their defence of the Division Two Cup

Result: Norton Nomads 5-3 The Griffin (after extra time)

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Andy Meaden

Nomads man of the match: Adam Simmonds. Again.

Griffin man of the match: Tough one. Matt Mytton?

Conditions: Stupidly cold, even after running around for two hours

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. James Lorimer	4. Adam Colbourne		5. Dave Chedgy	3. Adam Simmonds
11. Kev Lake	9. Nath Witcombe	6. Andy Coombs	8. Jas Cripps	7. Andy Howe
		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant (replaced Cripps after 114 mins)

14. Mark Stillman (replaced Lorimer after 110 mins)

15. Joe Skipper

16. Craig Maidment (replaced Gulliford after 63 mins)

The Griffin line-up: Holman, Cardnell, Marsh, Bennett, M. Mytton, Arnold, Oyetunde, Brudenell, Jacques, S. Mytton, Thwaites. Subs: Wilkes, O’Connor.

Defending the Division Two Cup is a big thing for Nomads players, particularly when you consider the rather slow start to the season. A run in this could re-ignite things. It's all we're talking about. We've been watching the DVD of the final over and over again - drooling at the timing of Adam Colbourne's run to score the headed opener, clenching a fist with joy as Kev Lake smashes in a second and laughing as Andy Howe is dispossessed by Nath Witcombe with a pillar obstructing the view. Lovely stuff.

Such commitment was doubted slightly when a text stating "Mate, I feel shocking, was out last night" was sent to the phone of Mark Stillman (himself with a rather sore head and arm after falling over on a dancefloor the night before) by Adam Simmonds, the left-back who missed the final due to injury. He was quickly persuaded to play, his first appearance in over a month. In fact that can be said of all Nomads players, who have been without a game since 8th November due to the recent rainfall making the Ston Easton surface more slippery than the dancefloor which caused Stillman to come a cropper.

Despite the long break, Liam Hunt and Tom Ross were still on the injury list but Witcombe was fit again to take a spot in midfield. Stillman was dropped to the bench with James Lorimer back in to make his first appearance since October. Craig Maidment also made way, his place was due to be taken by new signing Joe Skipper, but a breakdown in communication saw him miss the game entirely. Griffin arrived in force, real force. They seemed petrified of the threat from a side who'd won just one of eight games this season that they dragged Timsbury Cricketers along with them. Well, not quite. The victims of a 9-0 loss at Ston Easton two months ago weren't informed of a late fixture change, so instead they had to sulk back to their cars. Luke Tucker also made a surprise appearance at the game, he carrying out his "Good deed for the day" by dropping off the kit of Andy Coombs, before playing in his own Cup match for Farrington.

Nomads started well, keen to erase the memories of that shambolic defeat at the hands of D**ton R****s in their last outing. On that occasion the five-man midfield worked about as well as a square wheel, but on this morning they were well and truly round and pushing up the gears. There was little in terms of chances as Nomads struggled to break down a decent Griffin backline, supported by an absolute giant of a keeper in Toby Holman.

The Griffin defence must have felt sorry for Nomads after halting a few attacks, so much so that they scored the opening goal for them. Kev Lake worked his way past a few players with minimum fuss and fired in a ball towards Jamie Gulliford, who was waiting in the middle. Marking Gulliford was Arran Bennett, who unfortunately saw the ball fly off his heel and into the far corner to give Holman no chance. Just the start Nomads needed.

It was a game of few chances, Nomads settling in well but not really looking like adding to the scoreline. Their best opening saw Howe, Lake and Gulliford team up to tee up Witcombe, but after cutting inside of Adam Marsh his shot lacked any conviction and went straight into Holman's arms. The closest Griffin came to equalising was brought on by a moment of madness from Nomads keeper Kev Page, who bolted off his line in an attempt to end Rob Jacques' run, but timed his tackle all wrong and pole-axed the visiting striker. Referee Andy Meaden kept his cards in his pocket, possibly due to Jacques going away from goal and Nomads having cover on the line, and Andy Arnold's resulting free-kick just evaded everyone in the middle. A few minutes later, the only yellow card of the game was issued to Matt Mytton of Griffin, this for obstructing Howe when he set off on a weaving run through midfield. Matt’s brother Steve shot straight at Page as the game finally sparked into life just before the half came to a close.

Nomads went into the interval with a second goal, again brought on by Lake. After receiving the ball from Cripps, Lake found Witcombe in space inside the area. The Joe McElderry megafan proved that he had the S (Shooting) Factor by wrong-footing Holman and rolling the ball home, his first goal in 15 months. There was still time for one more chance of the half, Josh Brudenell heading narrowly wide from a Ses Oyetunde cross. All in all it was looking rather cosy as the Nomads players trudged off looking for a collection of sleeping bags to keep them warm on a bitterly cold morning.

The second half was great in terms of effort, but low in terms of quality. There was little spark or invention in either team's play, Nomads' five-man midfield just cancelling out Griffin's attack, Coombs in particular producing yet another impressive performance, but it wasn't a game for the neutral. Steve Mytton was thwarted by Dave Chedgy and Colbourne who threw themselves in the way and the same Griffin player rounded Page but could only curl his effort wide. A couple of corners caused some panic but the resulting shot was often skewed wide. Jacques, a serial goalscorer for the Frome side, appeared to have left his shooting boots at home as he sliced wide when left unmarked on two occasions.

What Griffin lacked in ability they made up for in team spirit, their constant chasing and harrying meaning that the outcome was still in doubt. With that in mind, Paul Tarrant reshuffled things, taking off Gulliford just past the hour mark and bringing on Maidment, Witcombe moving into attack on his own. This move nearly paid dividends straight away as the substitute threaded it through to Witcombe, but he was halted by a superb Matt Mytton intervention. 10 minutes later he was again put clear by the same player but Holman came off his line quickly and confidently to smother the resulting shot. He carried a limp for the rest of the game but still posed a threat, dropping back to midfield to swap with Maidment for the closing stages.

Griffin pulled a goal back with 12 minutes remaining. A long ball forward was misjudged by Chedgy and left Jacques in the clear. With Page slightly off his line, the Griffin striker almost effortly dinked the ball over his head, watching on as it clipped the underside of the bar and nestled into the net. A lovely finish - goal of the game.

What followed was Nomads giving the ball away incredibly cheaply; they might as well have wrapped a ribbon around it and gave it to their opponents as an early Christmas present. It felt like December 25th for the visitors when they equalised on the 87th minute. Oyetunde intercepted Howe on the wing and fired a pass between Simmonds and Chedgy, straight into Jacques' path. In a similar position to the first goal, Jacques this time fired the ball across Page and into the bottom corner. He was unlucky soon after not to pinch a winner, shooting into the side netting as Nomads' confidence started wilting away like a neglected flower gasping for water. Lake was presented with an even clearer chance, as clear as clear could be. Holman sliced a free-kick straight to him and despite having a gaping goal to aim at, the free-scoring midfielder inexplicably shot wide on the volley.

Extra-time it was, in the cold. Griffin had their tales up, manager Nigel Hamilton keeping himself warm with a flask of coffee and an endless supply of cigarettes, though by the looks of things his side had inhaled too much smoke as they started extra-time sluggishly whilst Nomads, content with water and shivers, began well.

With the additional time just four minutes old, Nomads found their third goal. Lake received the ball from Lorimer on the right, shimmied past Marsh and unleashed a thunderous shot which smashed against the underside of the bar and back out. It fell back to Howe, who again showed the prowess of a striker, i.e. being in the right place at the right time, to thrash home the rebound from close range. It was his fifth goal of the season, impressive for someone who'd found the net just twice in two and a half years at former club Westfield.

Nomads were on a roll, returning to their form from nearly two hours earlier. Simmonds (what hangover?) added an extra threat to the left and he started the move for goal number four. He passed to Maidment, he flicked to Coombs, he cut apart the defence with one pass and he celebrated as Cripps calmly side-footed it past Holman. Maidment almost capitalised as Holman spilled a Coombs effort and Page did well to save a Tim O’Connor drive in an entertaining 15 minutes.

The cigars were out with 10 minutes left as a fifth goal killed off the tie. Again Maidment was involved, he set up Cripps who spotted the run of Lake to his right. Lake still had a bit of work today, but similar to many of his goals in the past, he made it look easy. Space was created in a matter of seconds and shortly afterwards the ball was heading towards the goal down the middle, Holman again given no chance. Tarrant could now afford to withdraw Lorimer with Stillman and even bring himself on for Cripps.

Griffin ended the game the better, Jacques spurning two glorious chances in three minutes. Firstly he avoided Stillman’s attempted challenge but shot wide when he should have done better, and soon after he was given another free shot at goal. Steve Mytton tangled with Chedgy in the penalty area and as he appeared to break free, Stillman slid in and caught his ankles with the slightest of slight touches. Meaden gave a penalty but the plan came to fruition as Stillman’s flatmate, Mr Page, made himself a hero by saving Jacques’ penalty with his legs (that should get me out of the washing up). Unfortunately, within 10 seconds the ball was in anyway, O’Connor prodding home as Nomads failed to clear.

After a couple more narrow escapes the game was over. Pleasantries were exchanged as players darted for the warmth of the changing rooms. Nomads will face Ston Easton in the next round and are in Cup action again on Sunday, a tricky tie at home to Team Frome. Bring a radiator for goodness sake.

The game of two halves

Result: Ston Easton 4-4 Norton Nomads

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Tim Mackay

Nomads man of the match: Andy Howe

Ston Easton man of the match: Mike Roe

Conditions: Windy, a few outbreaks of showers

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Paul Tarrant	4. Adam Colbourne		5. Dave Chedgy	3. Mark Stillman
6. Tom Ross	8. Jas Cripps		9. Craig Maidment	7. Andy Howe
	11. Kev Lake		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Adam Simmonds (replaced Ross after 46 mins)

Ston Easton line-up: Seymour, Abbott, Roe, Dix, Henton, Harrison, Hanson, Nurse, Davies, Ford, Bowring. Subs: Bennett, Gilvray, Lines, Presley, Slocombe.

Well, with it being Halloween weekend, there had to be a few spooky moments in the game, didn't there? This game had eight ghools - I mean goals - seven of them scored at the same end. There was an own goal which left a few players cackling like witches and two players playing through bad injuries, when they'd arrived their legs were about as stable as that of a skeleton but by the time they'd finished they were sturdier than Frankenstein.

One of those aforementioned skeleton's was the stick thin Jamie Gulliford, who turned up to drop off the kit, expected to limp back to his car but ended up starting the game despite carrying a groin strain. Manager Paul Tarrant was getting desperate, he was left with 10 players after a number of injuries, meaning that Gulliford talked himself into playing. An SOS call to Adam Simmonds saw him collapse out of his bed and offer his services as a substitute, he'd injured a knee the morning before playing for Welton Rangers but pulled through and turned up after kick-off. Tarrant started himself for the first time this season - he had no choice as a whole host of problems saw numbers dwindle over the weekend. Andy Coombs was missing for the first time this season due to an ankle knock but Tom Ross was able to start a match for the first time since the Division Two Cup Final last April. Ston Easton were overwhelmed with players, they were able to call upon 16. One of whom, Adam Slocombe, agreed to run the line for Nomads until Simmonds' arrival and he proved to be perfectly fair.

Ston Easton lie bottom of the Division but have picked up with two draws recently. They had the better of the early exchanges, their first chance saw Antony Ford slice wide when well placed in the penalty area. He also shot straight at Kev Page after turning inside of Adam Colbourne and was proving to be a tricky opponent, his attributes including a quick turn of pace and a better dribbler than Homer Simpson when he spots a bottle of Duff going spare at Moe's Tavern.

Nomads were playing some fairly decent football, though both teams were hampered by gale-force winds which changed direction more than contestants on "Hole in the Wall". With most of the game taking place down Nomads' right side, it gave Ross a chance to get into the game on the wing. He put in a dangerous cross which looked perfect for Gulliford, unfortunately the striker's usual burst of pace into the middle was absent as he was still clearly struggling through injury and the chance was gone. Kev Lake also attempted to lob Dan Seymour in the home goal following good work by Jas Cripps. His effort was fumbled but the goalkeeper managed to scramble back and prevent the ball from crossing the line.

The home side took the lead midway through the half. After some sustained pressure on the Nomads defence, Dave Nurse teed up Paul Dix and he finished well, drilling an effort into the corner with Page's hand not enough to keep it out. It was followed by some good play from the hosts who looked desperate to claim their first win of the season, but this was all undone six minutes later.

Page's goal-kick swirled in the air and was well met by Craig Maidment. The stand-in central midfielder played it over the top for Gulliford to chase onto, but he didn't have to in the end as Ston's Steve Harrison did the job for him, breaking clear and perfectly lobbing his own goalkeeper from over 20 yards out. A comical own goal, though his team-mates were hardly rolling around in laughter.

There were smiles soon after though as Nurse's side regained the lead, with another goal which came from a goal-kick. Seymour's delivery skipped through a catelogue of players and chased upon by Ford. The striker avoided the attentions of Tarrant and Colbourne before sliding the ball into the bottom corner from a narrow angle.

Well, I thought it was a narrow angle anyway, but not quite as narrow as Ston's third goal just past the half hour mark. Dix sailed in a corner which held in the air and blew past everyone into the top corner. An act of genius, or a complete fluke? Both teams held opposite views. I don't think "Bend it like Dix" will be hitting our cinema screens sometime soon. Nomads reacted with a couple of chances, Kev Lake diverting an effort wide following good work by Maidment the closest they came to scoring.

It seemed that everything Ston Easton hit went into the back of the net, and they were given a helping hand to go 4-1 up before the half was out. Colbourne beat Jason Davies in the air but was astonishingly penalised by referee Tim Mackay, this wasn't the first, shall we say "interesting" decision by the man in black. Ford took advantage of this massive slice of good fortune by belting the resulting free-kick into the roof of the net.

The second half got off to the worst start possible. Ross received the ball from the centre and was clattered from behind by Steve Hanson. The home player didn't seem to mean any malice but it was a poor challenge which went un-punished. Ross was carried off and replaced by the partially fit Simmonds, who was also sporting to dashing fake blood from the night before which he'd forgotten to clean off. I'm surprised he wasn't offered any after-sun as his face was redder than a blushing bride.

The sight of this red-faced lunatic roaming around midfield somehow sparked Nomads into life and they pulled a goal back on 52 minutes. Cripps' attempted ball into the middle appeared to have been gathered by Seymour, however the Ston number one let the ball slip through his grasp straight to Lake, giving him the simplest of tap-ins.

It was a much improved performance by Nomads who enjoyed a majority of the possession with the new five-man midfield working wonders. Page was a virtual spectator in goal and would have had a great view of Nomads' third goal just past the hour mark. Lake's attempted cross appeared to have been mis-hit, but it ran perfectly for Andy Howe who ghosted (another Halloween reference) ahead of Dale Abbott before diverting the ball into the top corner. It appeared to go in off his shin, but this proved vital as it gave Seymour no chance to even react to it.

Within five minutes it was all-square. Harrison's pass somehow stayed in play, the wind again playing a part, and was collected by Mark Stillman. The left back lofted the ball over into Howe's pass, he beat Abbott for pace before rolling a shot in at Seymour's front post. Two goals in five minutes, four in six starts this season for the summer signing from Westfield, who'd only scored two in the past two seasons. He had a chance of completing a quick-fire hat-trick when he again burst into the penalty box, but aimed his effort wide of the far post.

Page finally had a save to his name in the second half. Substitute Josh Lines beat Tarrant for pace and rolled the ball into the centre for Jason Davies. His effort was parried by Page but went back behind him and looked like it was going to agonisingly creep over the line. Thankfully the quick-thinking Dave Chedgy was alert to the danger and booted the ball away. Nomads' defence had tightened up significantly with Colbourne throwing himself in the way of a Nurse attempt after good work by Ford. At the other end, Nomads' final ball let them down. 48 year-old Mike Roe, who was left marking someone exactly half his age in Kev Lake, proved that age matters not with a commanding display at the back.

Gulliford dragged an effort wide after being put through by Maidment and the latter then flashed a shot wide after Simmonds' played the ball back from the byline. Colbourne and Simmonds headed over following some Lake corners and Cripps also hit an effort wide of the post. It was proving to be a frustration final 20 minutes or so with referee Mackay making a few confusing decisions in favour of either side, one of which included Gulliford worming his way around the box before preparing to shoot, only to be penalised for offside. It appeared to be a linesman's flag which made up his mind on this occasion, the Ston Easton sub thinking that the ball had run loose to Howe. Cripps was clearly getting somewhat irked with the man in the middle but managed to keep his head and avoid going into the book. One of the last chances saw Gulliford sprint after Stillman's pass and almost capitalise on a Seymour mistake, but the keeper managed to grasp at the ball before he could shoot.

It ended 4-4 which was probably a fair reflection in what a game which perfectly sums up the over-used phrase "game of two halves". It's the second time that Nomads have come back from three goals down against Ston Easton, though on this occasion they couldn't find a winner. Man-of-the-match went to two-goal hero Howe, which keeps up the record of that award going to a Nomads player who's first name begins with the letter "A", it's happened in every game this season. I might knock off the first letter in my first name, then I'll be in with a chance I tell you. Next up are Dilton Rovers in the mudbath of Dilton Marsh.

The game where Nomads are out-foxed in promotion race

Result: Norton Nomads 1-5 Fox & Hounds

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Arthur Jones

Nomads man of the match: Adam Simmonds

Fox & Hounds man of the match: Sean Holton

Conditions: Cloudy

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	5. James Lorimer		4. Adam Colbourne	3. Dave Chedgy
11. Kev Lake	6. Andy Coombs		8. Adam Simmonds	7. Andy Howe
	9. Craig Maidment		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

14. Chris Rogers (replaced Howe after 62 mins)

15. Tom Ross (replaced Lorimer at half-time)

Fox & Hounds line-up: Kitley, Holton, Goldup, Eglin, Davies, Strong, A. Hitchcock, D. Hitchcock, Preece, Blaskiw, Stokes. Subs: Day, Wallis, Douglas, Taylor.

Try imagining your worst nightmare. Those dreams where you turn up somewhere and realise you're not dressed. Or the ones where you're falling off a cliff into oblivion. Or the ones where we live in a land where Liam Hunt is declared a God and we all must obey him. Unfortunately, the nightmare 90 minutes on Sunday 25th October was very much real and gave Nomads a sharp wake-up call.

Talking of waking up, the clocks went back an hour whilst a few members of the team were out clubbing, though this little alteration didn't deter them. It caught out a certain Jamie Gulliford though. On the day of his 100th appearance, Gulliford was up an hour before the others and before he'd realised his mistake he was already wide awake, so made an early trip to Ston Easton. He had a companion back alongside him in attack, the returning Craig Maidment, as Nomads switched to 4-4-2. Maidment's inclusion was the only change from the draw at Foresters Arms; he replaced Jas Cripps, who was still feeling the effects of a head injury sustained early in last week's game. Chris Rogers also shook off his illness to take a place on the bench. Fox & Hounds were the visitors and they were clearly up for the game, as opposed to the previous meeting when they rolled (and scowled) in after 10.30, showing about as much interest in the match as I show during a work team meeting. Their players were even out warming up some 10 minutes before Nomads. Fox's manager Brett Gallazi also confirmed before the game that his side had been playing well recently, but didn't score enough goals considering the chances they created.

Such reservations went out of the window as his side took the lead inside two minutes. A patient attacking move saw the ball eventually reach the byline where it was pulled back to Jayson Stokes. With Kev Page out of goal trying to close down the original pass, Stokes was able to slam the ball into the net despite the efforts of Mark Stillman on the line, his late attempt not quite coming off as the ball flew through his legs.

Fox & Hounds were already looking like a side which meant business. A solid back-line marshalled by the superb Sean Holton gave Nomads little room to manoevre and in attack they always looked a threat, the lively Stokes chasing the ball around like Lassie hunting down a precious bone. Indeed some of Stokes' challenges connected with a few bones of the Nomads players; he was booked for a late lunge on Stillman near the halfway line. Referee Arthur Jones was quick to stamp his authority by deeming a number of challenges as dangerous; he also dished out yellows for Holton and Nomads' James Lorimer for those reasons.

The visitors missed a glorious chance to extend the lead when Alan Hitchcock flicked on a long throw into the path of an unmarked team-mate, but he was only able to loft the ball over the bar. They did make it two with a goal scruffier than a tramp's attire and as avoidable as a Nun in a strip club. A free-kick saw the ball helped on by Darrell Hitchcock seemingly into safety, but a mix-up between Adam Simmonds and Stillman saw both fail to properly clear and the ball was stabbed home under Page from six yards.

Nomads were more off-colour than a group of Blackburn players with swine flu. Their best openings both came following assists from Hounds goalkeeper Graham Kitley. The Westbury United number one scuffed a clearance to Kev Lake some 40 yards from goal, but the Nomads winger could only lift his effort wide. A similar situation saw Adam Colbourne's clearance land on the roof of the net with Kitley stranded. It was therefore unsurprising that Nomads' goal would have a touch of good fortune about it. Lake and Stillman linked up near the centre circle before the latter moved forward and deceived Scott Blaskiw by cutting the ball inside him into Lake's path. Lake's attempted cross took a wicked swerve and flew past Kitley into the far corner to give Nomads a lifeline.

It looked like Nomads could build on this piece of luck, but instead they nearly gifted a third to the Wiltshire side on the stroke of half-time. Colbourne upended Stokes in the box right in front of referee Jones, and the felled opponent dusted himself down to take the penalty. He scored from the spot against Nomads in January, but couldn't do on this occasion as he curled his effort onto the face of the post. Win a penalty against Nomads at your peril - including friendlies that's now four spot-kicks in a row which have been missed against us.

The second half saw Fox & Hounds content to sit on their one-goal advantage, easily snuffing out any danger which came their way with players working their socks off in defence and midfield, whilst they looked dangerous on the break. Page booted Colbourne's pass back into Stokes but fortunately saw the ball rebound back into his grateful arms in a rare opening. Chances overall were at a premium, Gulliford poked a shot wide after good work by Andy Coombs and Page did well to tip over a powerful drive, but other than that each sides cancelled each other out. Tom Ross, a half-time substitute for the injured Lorimer, put himself about a lot but he and his team-mates were constantly thwarted by an immense back-line.

It took until the 68th minute for Fox's to make it 3-1. Darrell Hitchcock's defence splitting pass saw Stokes remain onside, escape Chedgy's challenge and thump the ball into the centre of the goal past Page, who by this point was struggling with a groin injury. Nomads responded by bringing on Rogers for the strangely subdued Andy Howe whilst Hounds introduced Chikiah Douglas and Simon Taylor to give them more threat in attack.

After a flurry of yellows in the first half, referee Jones only reached for his book once in the second, but it was to prove costly. Chedgy and Simmonds put a halt to Stokes' ascent on goal which caused the striker to retaliate with a needless lunge on Simmonds. After being booked in the first half Stokes was off - the second Fox & Hounds player to see red this season - and his side would have to play the remainder of the game with 10 men. He also became the first player to be sent off against Nomads in nearly three years.

Gallazi re-organised his side as Nomads stuck Simmonds further forward to try and salvage anything out of the game. That plan proved to be about as cunning as one of Baldrick's on Blackadder as within minutes of the red card, Taylor found himself through on goal but could only shoot wide. "If at first you don't succeed, try again" must have been running through his mind, that and "I can't believe I'm unmarked again" as he found himself in a similar position soon after, this time making no mistake in blasting the ball into the corner past the hesitant Page, the injury clearly hampering his movement.

Douglas then missed a gilt-edged chance to make it five. After weaving his way around a couple of half-hearted challenges he was left with just Page to beat, but went for glory and tried to take the net out. Unfortunately for him his finishing wasn't as dazzling as his earring, the shot clipping the top of the bar and landing in the field behind. Maidment dragged a shot wide and Stillman's deliberately placed effort following Gulliford's hold-up play curled just past Kitley's full-stretch dive. Many of his players said "one for the cameras" before also pointing out that the small bloke who took the shot would usually be on the sidelines clicking away.

The misery was completed with five minutes remaining. A corner wasn't properly cleared which left Darrell Hitchcock on the far post to angle his drive between Stillman and the post to nestle into the net. The away side were even able to play the closing stages with nine men as one of their players went off injured; with all three subs used they had no option but to play two men down. It spoke volumes that few Nomads players even noticed.

So a crushing defeat for Paul Tarrant's side who were taught a lesson by Fox & Hounds, they in turn exacting revenge after two League defeats against Nomads last season. Next week sees Nomads again in action at Ston Easton, but they'll need to turn left for the changing rooms as they're the visitors to home side...Ston Easton.

The game which was head bangingly good

Result: The Foresters Arms 4-4 Norton Nomads

Venue: Beckington Memorial Hall

Referee: Martin Chivers

Nomads man of the match: Adam Colbourne

Foresters Arms man of the match: Sam Harrison

Conditions: Cloudy but pretty mild

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	5. James Lorimer		4. Adam Colbourne	3. Dave Chedgy
11. Kev Lake	8. Jas Cripps	6. Andy Coombs	9. Adam Simmonds	7. Andy Howe
		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

14. Tom Ross (replaced Cripps after 11 mins)

Foresters Arms line-up: Did ‘no’ receive a teamsheet

Just a week after Robbie Williams made a comeback, Foresters Arms and Norton Nomads produced a game which would have been a lasting tribute to the song "Let me entertain you". The levels of controversy didn't quite match Williams' recent history but the game itself was a classic, although few would have predicted that after 10 minutes or so. That said, Nomads have now played at Beckington Memorial Hall five times and the games have produced an astonishing 45 goals.

Paul Tarrant's philosophy of "stick with a winning team" went out the window when Craig Maidment pulled out due to a weekend away. Whilst he was at some well-known theme park in Staffordshire that he's been to a few times, Nomads went through their own rollercoaster ride without him. Dave Chedgy was recalled which meant Adam Simmonds was the grateful recipient of Maidment's usual number nine shirt, he would be an extra midfielder in a 4-5-1 formation. The lone striker was due to be Kev Lake due to Jamie Gulliford’s lateness. However, Tom Ross pulled up in the warm-up with a slight calf injury, which meant Gulliford was reprieved. Chris Rogers, who lives the closest to Beckington Village Hall out of all the players, phoned in sick, leaving Nomads with Ross and Tarrant on the bench.

The game started slowly, neither side really getting a foothold on the largely superb pitch, ruined in some quarters by huge divots and mounds. Kev Page was quick off his line to thwart an attack but in doing so picked up a huge bruise on his right foot, this affected his kicking early on. A worse injury followed - Jas Cripps and Carl Penman of Foresters both went for the ball which resulted in a sickening clash of heads. Everyone was left concern and keen to treat the affected players, both were taped up and sent to separate hospitals - Cripps being looked after in Frome whilst Penman, who came off worse in the clash, headed to the RUH in Bath. Ross came on much earlier than anticipated and the game restarted.

This accidental clash clearly affected players who were reluctant to challenge in the air. Fittingly, it was a misjudged header which brought the opening goal of the game on 18 minutes. James Lorimer lost sight of the ball in the glaring sun and deflected the ball into the path of Matt Lewis. The home striker cut inside and hit a low shot which squirmed under Page's body at his near post.

Nomads always looked promising going forward despite just the one man up front. Kev Lake in particular had looked threatening and he soon became the man to get Nomads back on level terms. A patient build-up saw Andy Coombs roll the ball wide of Lake, but it seemed to have been over-hit for the arriving winger. However, Lake's determination saw him stretch out a leg and divert the ball into the opposite corner across Matt Nutley in the Foresters goal.

Lake was on the scoresheet twice when he last played against Foresters Arms, and he repeated this feat on 40 minutes. Mark Stillman intercepted Pete Warr's pass and played it through to Coombs. Coombs found Gulliford on the left, and his quick turn of pace once again became pivotal. A shrug of a shoulder and a cross into the middle was the recipe to success as he put it on a plate for Lake, he made no mistake in firing the ball into the roof of the net to give Nutley no chance. He could have hat-trick soon after but could only shoot straight straight at Nutley after good work by Simmonds and Ross.

Foresters were already looking short on ideas, constantly pumping the ball far too long for strikers Lewis and Richard McCarroll. One of their punts forward almost led to a freakish equaliser. Page's goal-kick was met first time by Andy Atkins and everyone watched on as his clearance looked to be dipping in. Page took no chances and palmed the ball behind for a corner, which saw Paul Mill side-foot wide from close range in almost the final action of the half.

Whilst the first half saw the teams take a while to bed in, the second half was a different story as both teams exploited gaps galore in what was fast becoming an extremely open game of football. Lake slipped it through to Gulliford who could only poke it into Nutley's arms, claiming that the slope had played a part.

The slope was an excuse which Adam Colbourne in the Nomads defence could have used on 52 minutes, as it was his mistake which led to Foresters' equaliser. A bouncing ball looked set to have been headed away by the normally reliable centre half, but he suddenly lost his balance as if someone had tilted the pitch sideways - a bit like on Titanic when the ship breaks in half and all those people go flying into the sea. You know, before Jack snuffs it and Rose cries. Anyway, Colbourne managed to hold back the waterworks as he saw Sam Harrison capitalise on his mistake. Harrison's shot was saved by Page's legs, but the ball looped in the air right onto the head of the evergreen goal poacher McCarroll, who made no mistake from inches out.

Nomads responded well with many promising attacks. Chedgy headed over from a narrow angle following a Lake corner and Howe's run, reminiscent of Michael Owen's solo effort against Argentina at France 98, was frustratingly halted by Jamie Barney's important intervention. The same Foresters player became more of a favourite with his team-mates as he set up their third goal on the hour mark.

Ross received the ball after Lake's corner was cleared, but he was hesitant and robbed by Barney. The same player looked up and delivered an inch perfect pass in between Lorimer and Stillman, straight to the feet of Lewis. After looking to be going away from goal, Lewis unleashed a cracking shot across Page which flew into the far corner, his second of the game.

The home side poured players forward for an attack which saw McCarroll show close control on the edge of the box, desperate to get a shot away. Stillman managed to hold him up, before out of nowhere Ross steamed in to try and win the ball. Unfortunately he missed the ball completely and caught the man; fortunately this was missed by referee Chivers who waved play on - a lucky break, almost as lucky as one at the other end soon after. Lake's run and cross found Gulliford, who calmly placed the ball towards the corner. His shot hit the inside of the post, agonisingly rolled along the line and was hacked clear by Paulo Mota. A vital clearance certainly, but this was from a player who'd walked off the pitch seconds earlier, only to come back on and save his side. The incident saw Chivers left in one of those horrible "You are the ref" situations which crop up in newspapers; in the end he gave the offender and the visiting linesman a lecture. "Mota gota way with it" would have been my headline.

The hosts' left back was given a torrid time by Lake, who turned provider for Nomads' equaliser with 20 minutes left. The winger motored past Mota, again crossed for Gulliford and this time there was no-one behind the goal to save the day - Gulliford was able to meet the ball with a sweet side-footed volley which Nutley got a hand to but couldn't keep it out. Lake's next attempt to run at the full-back was ended as the Italian almost committed GBH to stop his run, jumping on him and dragging him to the ground like he was a bag of rubbish.

With 15 minutes left, Nomads again attacked with menace and this time looked like they'd scored the winner. Ross played the ball wide to Howe who out-paced Mill and reached the byline. Simmonds took up a position at the front post which didn't look ideal for getting the ball in the onion bag, but he proved everyone wrong. The low delivery saw Simmonds back-flick the ball in from a narrow angle, an audacious finish, particularly for someone with just one goal to his name in over 70 starts for the club. His reward was to be the victim of a petulant stamp from a defender, who took his frustration out in a cowardly manner. Again Chivers was keen to keep his cards in his pocket, which is something I'm not against, but such acts of violent conduct should have been deemed a yellow at least.

This enthralling contest wouldn't be complete with another twist in the tale. Three minutes after gaining the lead, Nomads conceded a free-kick some 40 yards from goal. Mill floated it in towards the back post which caused difficulty for Page who was beaten in the air by a posse of players. The ball landed in the six-yard box and was forced home by the gleeful Warr, much to the annoyance of the Nomads players.

The closing stages would have had John Motson repeating his favoured line "What drama here" over and over again. Coombs curled over after Nutley punched away a corner and Ross missed a glorious chance with two minutes remaining. He found himself left totally unmarked from Howe's cross and flew at the ball like a torpedo, but unfortunately he failed to connect properly and diverted it wide. The final act of a breathless 90 minutes saw Gulliford attempt to round Nutley, who clearly took him out from behind. Everyone in Beckington probably viewed it as a penalty; everyone other than Mr Chivers who claimed Nutley had won the ball and waved play on.

The teams were left to settle for a point each, which is Foresters Arms third draw of the season, this after picking up none last season. Nomads will be gutted that they couldn't pick up three points against a side who they have still yet to beat in the League, but overall such an entertaining game probably didn't deserve anything other than a share of the spoils. Football was the winner - how's that for a corny catchphrase? Colbourne was voted man-of-the-match due to a series of important clearances and calmness when needed at the back. Next up are Fox & Hounds, the League leaders, at Ston Easton.

The game where the Cricketers are well and truly bowled out

Result: Norton Nomads 9 (nine)-0 Timsbury Cricketers

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Paul Davison

Nomads man of the match: Andy Coombs

Timsbury man of the match: Michael Gray

Conditions: Pleasant – perfect for a kick-around

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	5. James Lorimer		4. Adam Colbourne	3. Adam Simmonds
11. Kev Lake	8. Jas Cripps		6. Andy Coombs	7. Andy Howe
	9. Craig Maidment		11. Kev Lake

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant (replaced Simmonds after 74 mins)

14. Kevin Martin (replaced Stillman after 55 mins)

15. Dave Chedgy (replaced Lorimer after 65 mins)

Timsbury line-up: M. Brinkworth, Britton, Archer, Snook, A. Brinkworth, J. Brain, Pearcy, Veater, Gray, Reynolds, Reed. Subs: Comben, Ford, R. Brain, Hancock.

When I was a nipper, I remember tuning in to Match of the Day and watching my then beloved Manchester United thrash the hapless Ipswich Town 9-0. This was 1995, I was a mere 9 years old (that number features more in this report) and I was in love with the track “Two can play that game” by Bobby Brown. Since then I, and a few other Nomads players, have played in defeats by nine clear goals or more. It’s not a nice feeling. Some of the Timsbury players were toddlers when Andy Cole was scoring his five at Old Trafford on that March afternoon and this defeat will no doubt hit them hard, though on the other side of the coin it just re-ignite Nomads’ season.

Despite the extra-time defeat to Timsbury the week before, manager Paul Tarrant kept faith with the same starting XI, though he was down to three substitutes. Chris Rogers pulled out in the morning and Nath Witcombe’s long-standing back injury kept him on the sidelines. Timsbury, wearing red (the third different set of colours I’ve seen them play in this season) appeared to have a few players missing, though Michael Gray made his return. The former Somervale student, who I hope won’t be offended by this, now has the appearance of a tramp, with long flowing locks and a full beard for good measure. He showed a few good touches early on and was one of the most experienced players in the Timsbury side, a number of their squad probably not even old enough to drive.

After a bright start which saw Jas Cripps and Kev Lake go close, Nomads opened the scoring on 16 minutes. Lake picked up the ball on the right wing and sent in a cross intended for the head of Jamie Gulliford. Gulliford failed to connect, which was just as well because Andy Howe ghosted in behind him to slam the ball home at the far post.

The sight of the ball hitting the back of the net caused some Timsbury players to bow their heads quicker than church goers preparing for the first prayer of the morning. Within two minutes, they almost started looking to the Gods for some inspiration in creating a way back into the game, as they fell further behind. Gulliford and Cripps exchanged passes before the latter sent the ball into the middle. He was clattered in the build-up, but referee Paul Davison played what proved to be a vital advantage, as Lake was left to turn inside a defender before curling the ball past the unsighted Matt Brinkworth. The Timsbury keeper, son of their manager, produced a brave block to keep out Gulliford and the same player should have done better on 25 minutes. Craig Maidment expertly bent the ball into Gulliford's path with the outside of his boot which left the striker through on goal. Brinkworth came out to narrow the angle, which proved telling as Gulliford could only steer his effort wide. Cripps was also thwarted following a superb interchange of passes between Maidment, Coombs and Lake. The gangly midfielder prepared to shoot but was well denied by Alistaire Snook’s challenge, who'd made up some ground to keep the score at 2-0.

Timsbury were looking lacklustre, a few players rushing on the ball which saw them waste any potential openings. Their best chance saw Mike Reynolds pick out Gray, who slipped in between James Lorimer and Adam Colbourne leaving himself with just Kev Page to beat. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Nomads' superman (or Ratman) Adam Simmonds appeared from nowhere to save the day, a superb challenge which averted the danger and even earned himself a pat on the back from the Timsbury striker. This saving intervention proved important as Nomads, even at this early stage, seemed to put the game to bed on 32 minutes. Andy Coombs' through ball looked too long for Gulliford, but keeper Brinkworth hesitated off his line and was robbed as he attempted to pounce on the ball, leaving Gulliford with the simplest of tap-ins. This seemed to be enough for Cricketers who were already in danger of losing by a cricket score, they instantly made a substitution to try and re-shape.

After being 3-0 down so soon last week, Nomads were erasing this memory and went one better before the interval. Lake sent in a corner amongst a large posse of players, clustered together like wasps around an open jar of honey. King Bee Colbourne flew higher than the others and nodded into the corner - a sweet header to really sting the visitors who couldn't wait for the break. Tarrant couldn't either as it gave him a chance to give his players praise and encouragement for producing such a professional performance.

Within five minutes of the restart, Nomads had scored their fifth of the morning. The instrumental Maidment, who was craving the ball more than he craves a cool beer after a working day (and every lunchtime), started the move with a slipped pass to Lake. Lake shimmied inside but saw his close-range shot parried by Brinkworth. It was a decent save, but unfortunately for the young keeper the ball cannoned back off the knee of Jon Archer and nestled into the net. Page was next to produce a decent save, keeping out a long-range effort with his legs before Simmonds was fouled by Gray in attempting to clear the danger. The decision angered the visiting striker, who booted the ball away in frustration and was booked by Davison. A number of other decisions irked his side who showed a bit more fight and determination but little cutting edge. Victory already looked assured and with this in mind, Tarrant decided to give some of his substitutes an extended run-out. Minutes after sobering up and denying Gary Pearcy with a last-ditch challenge, Mark Stillman was replaced by Kevin Martin. Lorimer also made a relatively early exit, Dave Chedgy coming on in defence.

Victory was even more assured with a sixth goal arrived on the hour. Maidment picked the ball up in space on the wing and threaded it through to Lake in the middle. With the Cricketers defence caught in two minds over who to mark, Lake simply stepped inside like he was on the dancefloor to "Cha cha slide" and drove the ball into the corner, leaving the opponents criss-crossed. Their anger levels were raised another notch as, like the opening goal, they conceded another straight away. Lake broke from the centre and slipped it to the unmarked Gulliford. With minimum fuss, he beat Adam Brinkworth and drove the ball past his brother in goal, whose outstretched arm couldn't quite reach the well-placed shot.

Lake was on fire, Timsbury substitute Roger Brain grew tired of this and halted one of Lake's runs with a not-so-clever challenge where he even had the nerve to claim that he got the ball. From the resulting free-kick, Colbourne and Gulliford got in each others way and prevented a further goal.

Tarrant gave himself a run-out in the place of Simmonds, Nomads' third change to the back four of the morning. Cricketers tested this new-look defence with a couple of long range efforts, Page doing superbly well to palm away Ben Hancock's stringing drive but he bettered this soon after. Reynolds escaped a challenge of Chedgy and unleashed a low drive which Page did well to tip away, but it fell straight to the feet of Chris Reed. It looked like the visitors would snatch perhaps a deserving consolation, but Page was quick to courageously throw himself in front of the ball and deny the Bath City fan, whose weekend could hardly get worse after the gutting (and undeserved) 1-0 loss at Newport on Saturday.

Howe was the chief creator behind goal number eight. He skipped clear of the defence and was about to roll it inside to Maidment, but was prevented in doing do by a reckless challenge inside the penalty area. Davison awarded a penalty, possibly the easiest he's ever had to give since taking up refereeing, which gave Nomads a slight dilemma in who should take the kick. With regular taker Page now occupying the goalkeeping spot, he happily allowed Lake to step up and try and complete his hat-trick. He didn't disappoint, after a jolted run-up he sent Brinkworth the wrong way.

Unwilling for Lake to take all the glory, Gulliford went and completed his treble as well with nine minutes left. Coombs was given time and space in the midfield to find Gulliford, who'd been given a near clear route to goal with the beleaguered visitors watching on. With Brinkworth advancing off his line, Gulliford opted to deftly chip the ball over him from 16 yards and he did so by perfection, the ball dipping under the bar and into the back of the net. Brinkworth was injured when landing but managed to carry on for the closing stages where Nomads looked desperate to hit double figures. Maidment's shot on the turn was gathered and Coombs' free-kick kept out by the wall. He was given a second opportunity straight after in unusual circumstances, a free-kick awarded inside the box due to Brain's bad language. Again it was charged down and came to nothing.

A tenth wasn't scored but Nomads will have few complaints. Timsbury had the stuffing knocked out of them, looking depleted beforehand and crestfallen after, their youngsters given a tough ride against the side with probably the lowest squad average age in the League, almost every Nomads player being in their early 20s. Tarrant will be hoping his side continues to do the business in two weeks time, when they face inconsistent Foresters Arms at Beckington. Going into the game with a record win will boost confidence - the season started here.

The game where Nomads re-introduce their comeback tag

Result: Mendip Inn 4-3 Norton Nomads (after extra time)

Venue: Zion Hill, Oakhill

Referee: Martin Chivers

Nomads man of the match: Adam Simmonds

Mendip man of the match: Chris Bridges

Conditions: Another pretty warm morning

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	5. James Lorimer		4. Adam Colbourne	3. Adam Simmonds
7. Andy Howe	8. Jas Cripps		6. Andy Coombs	10. Jamie Gulliford
	9. Craig Maidment		11. Kev Lake

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

14. Nath Witcombe (replaced Cripps after 66 mins)

15. Dave Chedgy

16. Kevin Martin (replaced Stillman after 74 mins)

17. Chris Rogers (replaced Maidment after 105 mins)

Mendip line-up: Guy, Silk, Dallimore, Rea, Mills, Richards, Whitfield, Robertson, Bridges, Tadd, Kerton. Subs: Pike, Brain, Emery.

I don't know who Tony Whorlow was. I'm presuming he passed away long before Nomads were formed, but that seemingly didn't stop him from placing a curse on the club in his Cup. Maybe Paul Tarrant messed up his finances? Maybe Craig Maidment made a hash of his back garden wall? Maybe Kevin Martin's sleep-walking saw him end up in his bedroom? Whatever it is, it's now five defeats out of five in this competition; that means that it's another go at the Kevin Lucas Memorial Cup instead. After 20 minutes this looked inevitable, few would have predicted the game to continue until half past 12. Nomads so nearly stole victory at the jaws of defeat but in the end the opening collapse gave Tarrant's side a mountain to climb.

It felt like Nomads were climbing a mountain in the first half, shooting up a ridiculous slope with bumps galore at Oakhill. If you'd place a spirit level at the top the bubbles would have exploded out of one end. Tarrant made a handful of changes following the defeat to Harlem a week earlier. James Lorimer came in for his first start at the expense of Dave Chedgy and Adam Colbourne returned to replace the departing Luke Tucker. Maidment recovered from illness and went straight back into attack with Jamie Gulliford pushed out wide in place of Chris Rogers. Nomads were also fortunate to have a full bench as well with the injured Tom Ross and Liam Hunt watching on - the first time ever that every Nomads player was in available at a first team game. Opponents Mendip Inn of the First Division had a 14-man strong squad, though right back Alex Silk arrived dead on kick-off to start the game.

He probably could have got away with spending another half hour in bed watching re-runs of Friends such was his side's dominance in the first 30 minutes. In fact it was like watching Joey give Chandler another thrashing on foosball. The rest of the defence would have got away with popping into Central Perk for a latte as well. Anyway, Mendip benefitted kicking downhill and looked surprisingly confident for a side that'd lost 15 out of 16 League games last season and without a win so far this time around. They deservedly took the lead on eight minutes, though the goal had a touch of good fortune about it. James Robertson's free-kick some 20 yards from goal was hit low and hard, perfectly through the legs of Lorimer in the wall. This deceived Kev Page in the Nomads goal who couldn't get across quickly enough to keep the effort out.

On 13 minutes this lead was extended. Robertson, swung in a corner which was met by the head of lanky Chris Bridges. He planted his header out of Page's reach and past Mark Stillman on the line.

The first half horror show continued as Mendip found themselves three goals to the good inside 20 minutes. Another free-kick, similar position to Whitfield's, was this time curled around the Nomads wall by Lee Richards and past Page before he could move. The game was becoming more and more one-sided by the minute when Mendip more threatening than a bull charging towards a matador whilst Nomads were like puppies rolling around in Andrex. Kerton skipped past Stillman and rolled the ball into the middle which was a tad too quick for Lee Tadd. Bridges was unfortunate to not win a penalty when Lorimer appeared to bundle him to the ground following a free-kick, the Mendip player causing problems galore for the back line. He shrugged off Colbourne and Lorimer before thrashing a shot against the outside of the post and Robertson headed wide when left unmarked. Page also turned away a Tadd drive with his feet as the Division One side pressed and pressed.

Kev Lake forced home keeper Aidan Guy into his first save 10 minutes before half-time. He beat Silk near the byline with an audacious turn and flick before going for glory from a near-impossible angle, Guy on hand to tip the ball over. Gulliford appeared to be bundled over by the Mendip keeper but referee Chivers waved play on when everyone in vicinity waited for him to point to the spot. The next Nomads player to come close to scoring was Stillman, who was urged to go forward for a free-kick despite his lack of aerial threat. Jas Cripps' delivery evaded everyone other than the surprised right-back, whose first time side-footed volley crept wide of the far post when he probably should have scored.

It would have been better for someone like Gulliford to be presented that chance due to his goals per game ratio, and said player added an assist to his name on 42 minutes. He showed good strength and persistence before spotting Andy Howe on the left wing. Howe ran forward unchallenged and easily rolled the ball past Guy to finally give Nomads some hope for the second half.

With the slope now in Nomads' favour, they looked for an equaliser but struggled to break down a decent home defence, centre back Mark Rea not missing a thing in the air. In fact, if the game was decided on headers won rather than goals, Nomads probably would have lost by hundreds. Simmonds prevented Tadd with a superb last-ditch challenge and Lorimer very nearly curled the ball into his own net when intercepting another attack.

Despite not creating many chances, Nomads pulled a goal back on 64 minutes. Andy Coombs won the ball in midfield and intelligently threaded it through to Gulliford, who'd finally found space in the back line. He waited for Guy to advance from his line before poking it past him and into the bottom corner from just inside the penalty area. It was just what Nomads needed but they were dealt a blow soon after when Cripps was the victim of a shocking, knee-high challenge near the halfway line which saw him crumple to the ground in agony. He was helped off the pitch (surprised we didn't need a crane) and passed the captaincy on to Colbourne with Nath Witcombe taking his place in midfield. Amazingly, the perpetrator wasn't shown a card for this offence, Chivers' leniancy a stark contrast to the week before when the Taunton official would have probably abandoned the game and sentenced the offender to the death penalty.

Lake had found chances hard to come by in the second half so opted for something different, unleashing a dipping half-volley from some 35 yards out in an attempt to catch out Guy. The Mendip keeper had to backtrack somewhat but was able to palm the ball over the crossbar. This was followed by Nomads' second substitution, Martin coming on for his first appearance of the season, replacing the below-par Stillman.

With nine minutes left, Nomads had completed the comeback. Maidment and Witcombe linked up brilliantly down the right before the latter fired in a cross which missed Lake by a whisker. However, the Nomads number 11 retrieved the ball, kept his cool and rolled it back to Gulliford who drove the ball into the roof of the net.

Mendip were left stunned and went all out to find a winner which enabled a frantic final few minutes. Page turned behind an awkward bouncing shot from Robertson before disaster struck with just five minutes remaining. Bridges jumped for Whitfield's throw-in and was fouled in the air by Colbourne, referee Chivers pointing to the spot. It looked like all the hard work was to be undone, but these fears were relinquished when the spot-kick was scuffed harmlessly wide of Page's post. A real let-off.

Nomads themselves had chances to win it in the closing stages. Gulliford collected Howe's pass and found himself through on goal, only for Guy to come to the rescue when the striker tried to round him. Witcombe was also left in space after taking down Coombs' pass superbly, but the angle beat him and the shot hit the side-netting. Colbourne was next to try and find a winner, he headed wide before Chivers called a halt to proceedings - extra-time it was.

The home side opted to shoot down the slope in the first period and they attacked from the off, Page parrying a Tadd effort early on. It took Mendip until the 100th minute to re-take the lead with a goal that could so easily have been avoided. Nomads flooded players forward for a corner and were made to pay when the home side broke away. Kerton and Bridges exchanged passes before Nomads seemed to have averted the danger with enough players back. However, the onrushing Robertson was left in space and he made no mistake following a ricochet, calmly stroking it past Page to make it 4-3. It could have been five soon after with a similar breakaway which ended with Colbourne seemingly upending Bridges, only for Chivers to give him the benefit of the doubt and wave play on.

Maidment collapsed off the field at half-time of extra-time to be replaced by Rogers, who, going by his facepaint, appeared to arrive at the game straight after a rave. Tarrant was raving on the sidelines when Keith Miles appeared to handle following a succession of deflections, no penalty awarded. Bridges had a goal disallowed for offside but this proved to be his side's final chance of the game. Witcombe's mazy run ended with a weak shot wide before Nomads appeared to level things up in the last minute of the 120. Lake's throw was flicked on by Gulliford to Colbourne who fired the ball into the bottom corner (a great finish for a defender, better than mine earlier anyway), but the offside flag was quickly raised and the goal was ruled out. There were few complaints.

There were also few complaints at the end as Mendip held on to progress to the next round. Nomads fought back marvellously but the first half performance, or lack of, proved costly. Simmonds was the recipient of the man-of-the-match award from Nomads, he's now won it more than any other player since the club were formed. Next up is a home match with Timsbury Cricketers. Howzat!

The game with an over fussy referee

Result: Harlem Athletic 2-1 Norton Nomads

Venue: Priorswood Park, Taunton

Referee: Some bloke from Taunton who blew up for almost everything

Nomads man of the match: Andy Coombs

Harlem man of the match: Their number 18 in midfield wasn’t bad

Conditions: Same as last week – baking hot

Nomads line-up:

		1. Kev Page
2. Mark Stillman	5. Luke Tucker		4. Dave Chedgy	3. Adam Simmonds
7. Chris Rogers	8. Jas Cripps		6. Andy Coombs	9. Andy Howe
	11. Kev Lake		10. Jamie Gulliford

Subs:

12. Paul Tarrant

15. James Lorimer (replaced Rogers after 65 mins)

Harlem line-up: Not been given teamsheet. Fourteen 20-somethings from Taunton.

It costs a fortune to play for Norton Nomads. Harlem away last Sunday, I mean, that’s a long old poke innit?

For all those with a shameful lack of knowledge on geographical locations of glorified pub teams, Harlem play their football in Somerset, a few miles from junction 27 on the M5 southbound. You even see signs for Minehead alongside Priorswood. It’s a heck of a trip and it’s made worse when you’re driving a Fiesta which leaks diesel and almost causes you to spin out on a roundabout in Glastonbury. Yes – the Stillmobile once again came a cropper and was left near some trading estate before the RAC attended to it hours later. Manager Paul Tarrant was however on hand to pick up those stranded and his team crammed into three cars to Priorswood.

When the team was announced, it was almost unrecognisable from the one which took to the field against Castle Inn a week earlier. Only Mark Stillman and Kev Lake wore the same number from the previous game as Nomads were hit by a number of withdrawals. Kev Page and Luke Tucker swapped positions which gave the usual number one a venture outfield for his final match. Jas Cripps, Jamie Gulliford and Andy Howe all came in after being left on the bench against Castle, Howe making his first start for the club. Chris Rogers also made his first start of the season. Adam Simmonds moved to left back with Dave Chedgy switched to the centre. Liam Hunt and Nath Witcombe were both sidelined by injury and didn’t travel, Tom Ross did but wasn’t fit enough to start, neither was tonsillitis victim Craig Maidment who stood on the sidelines as photographer. James Lorimer and Paul Tarrant returned from holiday to sit on the bench. Harlem began their season with a 9-2 win over Williton Rockets two weeks ago and didn’t really test themselves in the warm-up, most of their time spent sat in the glorious South Somerset sunshine. Nomads quickly changed into their white away kit and got on with things before the respect handshake, a few early pleasantries shared amongst rival clubs.

Nomads began well, settling to the game quickly and playing some decent stuff on a hard pitch with little grass. Harlem immediately set their stall out to get the ball forwards as quickly as possible, giving little service for their strikers to work with kicking down the slope. Lake tested the keeper early on before Chris Rogers’ twice-attempted shot was well parried by the home stopper. Gulliford was next up; he latched on to Andy Coombs’ superb through ball but could only place his effort wide with the keeper quickly advancing off his line.

The closest Nomads came to taking the lead followed a lovely move which wouldn’t have looked out of place in Frome & District League Premier Division. Tucker played it out to Simmonds who in turn exchanged passes with Howe. Gulliford collected it and slipped it through to Howe who sprang the offside trap and headed towards goal. His curled effort was too close to the keeper who palmed it away and a defender was on hand to clear the danger before Gulliford could pounce. This was a delight to watch, had a goal been at the end it would have been a marvellous way to open Nomads’ account this season. Instead, Tucker thought he had five minutes before the break, tapping home from close range following Cripps’ free-kick, but the referee had already blown for a foul by Gulliford on the keeper in the build-up. Lake also placed an effort inches wide following a Rogers corner, the shot from the edge of the area agonisingly missing the post.

Page didn’t have a single save to make in the first half which saw Harlem end it the better, a last-ditch Stillman clearance preventing a goal following some pinball in the Nomads defence.

The second half was a rather turgid affair with the game not helped by a referee who was fussier than the average female trying to pick out a pair of stilettos that match her earrings for a night on the town. Tucker was booked for dragging down an opponent near the halfway line, the man in black giving him such a lecture you’d have thought he’d shown a knife to the person he felled. Page made his first save early on with his legs following some sustained pressure from the home side, the follow-up placed wide when the opponent should have done better.

Lake finally had the ball in the net for Nomads following Simmonds’ knock-on but a late offside flag cut short celebrations. With the game looking set for extra-time even at this early stage, Nomads freshened things up. The tired looking Rogers was replaced by Lorimer, the former Bearberry defender coming on to make his first appearance for the club. A few positional changes seemed to do the trick as Nomads finally took the lead on 70 minutes.

Cripps received the ball from Coombs in midfield and marched forward with his usual strength and power. After holding off two opponents, he played it through to Lake who appeared offside. The flag stayed down and, in a near carbon copy of his disallowed effort, Lake looked up and once again deftly lofted it over the goalkeeper and into the net.

Harlem, continuing with their direct approach, equalised within five minutes thanks to a bit of help from Nomads. A free-kick on the edge of the box was awarded for a supposed dangerous attempt to get the ball from Tucker. It was dangerously curled towards the six-yard box, Page missed his punch and the ball rebounded into the net via the head of the luckless Simmonds.

This spurred on the home side who looked livelier following a few quick substitutions and they took the lead with eight minutes left. A rare neat interchange of passes reaped rewards as the ball was slipped in between Chedgy and Stillman for a striker to run on and coolly roll it past Page.

The closing stages became increasingly frustrating with the referee more over-protective than a father who sees his daughter embracing in a slow dance at the disco with the captain of the rugby team. Every set-piece seemed to be penalised seconds later for a foul due to alleged pushing, Simmonds was reprimanded for having the nerve to jostle with an opponent in trying to create space before a free-kick, in fact the Harlem player was also given a yellow card much to the bemusement of all in the vicinity. Cripps was constantly being brought in as “peacemaker” despite their being no hostility whatsoever between the teams. It was an unnecessary distraction. The final straw saw Chedgy booked for another tussle and a free-kick awarded in the opposite direction after many hold-ups.

Tucker so nearly ended his Nomads career with a goal in the final minutes. Lake’s free-kick was missed by the keeper but the ball bounced up too high on the hard surface meaning he struggled to produce enough power on his header, which was scrambled from the goal-line. Simmonds volleyed wide in a half-chance but Athletic were tight at the back and became increasingly difficult to get the ball off as they tried to hold it in the corners, any hint of bodily contact either way being deemed a foul.

So it’s an early exit for Paul Tarrant’s side who will spend the rest of the season closer to home, no more driving past signs to Newquay. Coombs was awarded man-of-the-match for yet another tidy performance in the heart of the midfield. The players traipsed back to Ston Easton hoping for better things to come, no more so than yours truly who waited next to his deathtrap Fiesta for Gino from the RAC to work his magic. There’s more magic next week for Nomads – the Tony Whorlow Memorial Cup (sponsored by Graham and Kimber, whoever they may be), away to Mendip Inn who play their football at Oakhill, some 40 miles closer to the Nomads players than Sunday’s trek. If anyone from Harlem has stumbled across this site, thanks to your hospitality and good luck for the rest of the season.

The game with few chances and much lateness

Result: Norton Nomads 0-3 Castle Inn

Venue: Ston Easton

Referee: Arthur Jones

Nomads man of the match: Adam Colbourne

Castle man of the match: Luke Salter

Conditions: Blue skies, shorts weather

Nomads line-up:

		1. Luke Tucker
2. Mark Stillman	4. Adam Colbourne		5. Kev Page	3. Dave Chedgy
11. Kev Lake	8. Andy Coombs	6. Liam Hunt	10. Adam Simmonds	7. Nath Witcombe
		9. Craig Maidment

Subs:

12. Jas Cripps (replaced Ross after 58 mins)

14. Jamie Gulliford (replaced Stillman after 66 mins)

15. Tom Ross (replaced Hunt at half-time)

16. Kevin Martin

17. Andy Howe

Castle Inn line-up: Thomas, Bandon, Sweetman, A. Salter, Rygor, L. Salter, Williams, Cryer, Fisher, Burton, Cox.

“Meet at 9.30am 2moro at Ston Easton. DON’T BE LATE. See you then. O, and who has the water bottles?” That was the standard text message which arrived on mobile phones of Nomads players on Saturday evening, sent by stand-in manager Mark Stillman, taking over whilst Paul Tarrant is on a brief break in Cornwall.

This fairly simple instruction didn’t sink in and meant the team was switched around accordingly. Those guilty (Jas Cripps, Jamie Gulliford, Tommi Ross and Andy Howe) found themselves on the bench alongside Kevin Martin with Chris Rogers missing out altogether as he’d forgotten his boots. The re-shuffle saw Adam Simmonds start the season in central midfield, a position he’d been playing in for Welton Rangers for the past few weeks. Andy Coombs also benefitted from others not arriving in time and joined the five-man midfield with Craig Maidment lone striker. Adam Colbourne was given the captain’s armband with Cripps on the bench. Castle Inn obviously didn’t send a similar text message to mine, nor did they ask if anyone knew where the ground was as they arrived 10 minutes late much to the annoyance of Nomads and referee Arthur Jones. There was one upside to their lateness – they didn’t have Matt Minnis in any of the cars, a welcome relief to the Nomads stand-in gaffer. The visitors changed into their kit (which was so white you’d have thought it’d just been featured in a Daz advert) at lightning speed. Nomads 2009/10 season was minutes away from starting – bring it on!

The opening stages were rather fraught and cagey. Castle certainly looked capable on the ball but didn’t test Luke Tucker with any shots. The best they had to offer was an attempted lob from Andy Burton which almost caught Tucker out, but he managed to grasp it without the need to back-pedal much. Lee Salter, a handful throughout on the left wing, headed wide and was thwarted by a Stillman intervention as he threatened to shoot in some promising attacks. Nomads gave Mark Thomas in the Castle goal a few efforts to deal with but nothing too testing, Coombs’ tame strike easily gathered. The visiting defence fielded two solid centre-backs in the form of Jamie Sweetman and Aaron Salter, getting past that Castle duo was proving to be about as difficult as breaking into Fort Knox.

However it was Lake who gave a few moments of grief for the away backline. He appeared to be offside when Maidment slipped the ball through to him but the linesman kept his flag down. Lake slid in but could only divert the effort wide of the far post. Not long after, he skipped past Dan Bandon and delivered a low cross which appeared to be easy for Thomas. Incredibly, the ball slipped through his grasp, rebounded against the shin of Aaron Salter and headed back towards goal. Whilst Maidment watched on, almost celebrating, he was stunned to see the ball rise high enough to hit the face of the bar with the relieved defence clearing their lines.

Despite these two lucky escapes, Castle battled on and took the lead on 40 minutes. A corner was only half-cleared and landed in front of the unmarked James Rygor. He steadied himself and drilled the ball through a crowd of bodies to make it 1-0, Tucker unsurprisingly apoplectic with an opponent left in so much space for a set-piece.

The Nomads goalkeeper almost had steam coming out of his ears three minutes later as he conceded a second. Colbourne’s attempted pass to Stillman from a goal-kick was intercepted by Lee Salter and passed inside to Pete Cryer. With Liam Hunt evidently struggling through injury, wincing with every step, he was unable to close the Castle player down, which resulted in Cryer unleashing a tracer-point of a shot to zoom past Tucker before he could hardly move.

With Stillman almost lost for words following the setback, he decided to switch to a 4-4-2 formation with Lake joining Maidment in attack. Hunt had to be withdrawn and Ross, who only declared himself fit shortly before kick-off, took his place.

Ross and Coombs both had shots which sailed wide of Thomas’ goal before Castle made the game safe on 54 minutes. The instrumental Lee Salter threaded the ball through to Rygor who took the ball under control and drove it into the centre of the goal past the diving Tucker. Soon after the Nomads custodian had to be alert to tip away a low effort from Rygor, who was left still searching for a hat-trick. It wasn’t the best spell of the game for Nomads. Ross picked up an injury leaving no option but to substitute the substitute with a substitute – Jas Cripps.

Nomads’ next near thing was created with Witcombe. The wing wizard had met his match in Gandolf Lee Salter, but did manage to outshine him on one occasion. Merlin Witcombe eventually worked his way to the penalty area before slipping it to Maidment, but the striker couldn’t convert with Thomas off his line to prevent him from getting a shot away, Sweetman eventually cleaning up the danger yet again.

Stillman quietly withdrew himself with Gulliford taking over, the team again shuffled about as Nomads tried more combinations than a robber trying to unlock a safe. Lake saw a shot tipped over by Thomas whilst at the other end Tucker did well to hold a fizzing Fisher strike. Despite the scoreline, Nomads were playing some fairly decent stuff. Dave Chedgy, producing an encouraging performance from left-back, saw a clearance which fell kindly to Maidment who controlled well before dipping a shot a foot over the bar.

The visitors began to tire, a lack of substitutes (none to be precise) meaning that they had to continue with what they had, but they more or less formed a moat around the penalty area with chances still at a premium. Nomads flooded players forward but there was no end product, Gulliford’s dangerous crosses all dealt with but a delivery from Witcombe on the opposite side caused more problems. Thomas again looked uncomfortable as the ball squirmed from his hands which seemed to present Lake with a tap-in. Somehow, the ball just wouldn’t bounce into his path and whilst he couldn’t connect, Sweetman was again on hand to put out the fire.

So for the fourth time in five seasons Nomads start with a defeat. They could have few complaints – Castle Inn look like a decent, solid, well-drilled team who have some superb individual players in their ranks as well as a sporting nature in what was a good, clean game. Although they didn’t win the game; or even score, Nomads gave a good account of themselves and similar efforts should produce a season as successful as last year. Long way to go yet, mind…